Thursday, July 02, 2009

"'Are we going to be friends forever?' asked Piglet...

...'Even longer,' Pooh answered." A. A. Milne
Image taken from this blog.

I love the moment when you first make friends with someone. It's past the awkward introduction but before you really know anything about a person. It's a moment of brilliant incandescent wonder--of infinite possibilities. The whole world stretches out before you and your new friend, and it's like for the briefest second there are no limits on where this friendship could go, or what you could become together.

Every story of every friendship echos in a beautiful melody around you, and you embark on your friendship, sometimes with timid little steps here and there, exploring your the neighborhood of your similarities together, or sometimes they open wide the door and you get to poke your nose into each other's mind while each sits back and vaguely hopes that everything is reasonably tidy. Sometimes you are thrown together violently, whether by happy circumstances or common enemies or just an epic quest that both of you happen to be on; so you may not know the history or the childhood or the past, but you build a present together and that becomes part of who both of you are...

In that part of the friendship there several paths it may take. There is the path of disillusionment, when that spark of infinite possibility is snuffed out, and the disappointing reality of the limitations of your friendship is made apparent. There is the slow fanning of the flame with no drama, no moment of recognition, but a strong friendship is built. Sometimes, and this is the best kind, the spark never goes away, but the possibilities become realities leading to more possibilities, and you continue together discovering that there is always more to discover!

I just had the light snuffed out for me, and I realized that the infinite possibilities are rather more finite after all, though none the less a pleasant prospect. It's a strange sort of bittersweetness, with a pleasant simplicity that only a good friend can provide, but also a little sad to know that some parts of life are not meant to be shared with that person--not because they are mean, or don't care, or couldn't appreciate it, but merely that it is outside the range your friendship can span. Perhaps it's personality, or background, or heritage, but whatever it is, it's part of your charm and their charm, and it really is the best the way it is.

But I have to say, the best moments are when you find a friend to whom you can say, "What, you too? I thought I was the only one." (C. S. Lewis)

I'm a Nobody
Who are you?
Are you Nobody too?
Then there's a pair of us?
Don't tell!
They'd advertise you know!
--Emily Dickenson

Isn't it ironic?

1 comment:

Marianne said...

Oh, man!